“Well”, replied the pirate, “We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off.”. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. Yes, ye varmint, even you may learn to tell bona fide pirate jokes just like the seadogs of old. The pirate jokes on this list are fun for the most dreaded of pirates and lily livered land lubbers alike (try saying that three times fast), so don’t ye worry if you’ve never set foot on a boat (or if you’ve only been on a schooner), you’ll be laughin’ all the way to Davy Jones’ Locker! This thread is archived. #17 Is EPIC . It's called Simon Pegg's Eggs, Kegs & Peg Legs. Daily pirate jokes twice a day on Twitter, ye scurvy dogs! Why did the chicken cross the road? Aussie Jokes Brunette Jokes Food Jokes Kiwi Jokes. 101 Best Bad Funny Puns. Pirate Jokes that are so funny you arrrrr sure to laugh at them. The monkey looks just like ye wife, arrrgh! On a pirate ship out on the high seas, the First Mate was up in the crow’s nest looking out for danger. The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, “If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid”. To bite ye in the mainsail, arrrgh! It always struck me as odd that the Pirates of the Caribbean DVD had a piracy warning. Time Friedman It’s the iPatch that gives it away. 30 Funniest One Liner Jokes He got a bad case of an itchy rash. On a BAAAARRRRRBECUE! As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!”. The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. To arr is seriously pirate. To hear these total groaners! The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. Unusual Jokes A man and a Dog, and the extremely unusual funeral... A man and his wife are walking down the town main street. A pirate goes to the doctor to have the spots on his arm examined. Why is it impossible to take a picture of a pirate with an iron hook? A seaman meets a pirate in a bar. 150 Jokes That Are So Bad They're Actually Funny. 19. I counted them before I came here.”. They’ve got ship for brains. “How did you get the eye patch”? hide. Robin Hook! The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals. Insult Jokes Funny Riddles Pirate Jokes Knock Knock Jokes . A pumpkin patch. Have fun telling pirate jokes with your kids and we hope to see you at Pirate Adventures this season, bring us your original pirate jokes – we can’t wait to hear them! Vote: share joke. Every pirate joke in existance can be found here, you barnacle-bitten land lubber! Everyday is a funday at FunnyWorm. 27 comments. When levity strikes in movies that have very few laughs. Most veteran pirates can only think about sailing the seas again. A pirate has stopped his pirating and mended his ways, but his parrot was just too bad, constantly swearing and refusing to behave. If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. 30 Hilarious Jokes Found in Non-Comedy Movies. piratejokes.net enchantedlearning.com history-for-kids.com. Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free. The best pirate jokes. 2. Where did the one legged pirate go for breakfast? What do you call a pirate that skips class? save. How do you make a pirate very angry? 14. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth. February 27, 2018. Have you ever tried taking a picture with an iron hook?! The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, “Bring me my brown pants!! Now we’re gonna have to pee in the boat.”. The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: “Now you’ve done it! They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked! IHOP. Other websites with pirate jokes collections. 2. An arm and a leg. One of the enemy cut my hand off.”. You must be a pirate… Pirate jokes are a way to lighten the mood of any land lubber. 10. 8. The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die." 25 Really Funny Harry Potter Jokes It is equivalent to approximately 40.55 watts. Short Pirate Jokes 1. You know, to wash him ashore. 1. Pirate mythology paints buccaneers and womanizing, bearded hooligans with a taste for rum. One's a rumbling tummy, and the other's a tumbling rummy. Ahoy there matey! They would thank you. Dad jokes represent a special kind of good-natured humor. I'm a pirate, so call me matey. What kind of a ship is most feared by pirates? This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Life’s too short not to laugh. More jokes about: Christmas, college, Santa, ugly, Yo mama On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new … 67% Upvoted. Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! They are arguing, as they always do, about the efficiency of wearing masks during the pandemic. The bartender says "Hey, did you know there is a a steering wheel in your pants?" But not before ye be readin’ this list of the funny pirate jokes from the across the seven seas of the Internet. “Incredible!” remarked the seaman. 11. 3. Powered by  - Designed with the Hueman theme, 25. A man walks into a bar and sees a priest, a rabbi and a monkey. 5. Because he was sitting on the deck. Then why not share them with your friends? I'm opening up a pirate-themed restaurant. 18. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. In a blink-and-you-missed-it moment, there is a frame that … Bookmark it now and then share it to your favorite social media site. Why is it so hard for pirates to learn to read? More jokes about: money, pirate. Because they spend months and months at C. Please be cool and share these awesome pirate puns with your social circles, and we would love you like a really drunk pirate. How can you tell a pirate has fallen for modern technology? What happens if you take the p out of a pirate? Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. The 30 Funniest Sitcom Jokes of All Time "No soup for you!" The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, “Bring me my red shirt!”. The pirate goes "ARRRRGGGG and it's driving me nuts!"

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